


This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

by Doctopus



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Drabble Collection, F/F, Oblique Mentions of Rude Rumor Spreading, entirely because Dog!Azula is pretty damn funny to me, idiot bullshitting, oh no this turned serious at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-01-17 14:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1391251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctopus/pseuds/Doctopus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based in the universe of Eastsidegallery's ( northno.3 on Fanfiction.net) The Huntress & The Wolf. Mostly set beyond in some speculative future of that story. Ty Lee was prepared to have a werewolf for a girlfriend. She probably was less prepared for everything else that involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Territorialism

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eastsidegallery (northno3)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/northno3/gifts).



"...and in conclusion, keep around something to wipe your face with. Baby wipes work pretty great for it." The dark haired girl remained in the position she'd occupied for the entirety of the conversation, staring at her phone as she texted furiously. Ty Lee blinked, hand still poised over her notebook. A lot of useful advice, ("She's probably going to try to bite you. Hit her right in the nose, it works on Zuko.") and a lot of odd or just worrying statements ("Don't get any pets. That's not a werewolf thing, it's just an Azula thing. _Don't get pets._ ") delivered in the same flat monotone Mai almost always spoke in.

"Why that last one?" Jotting it down and closing her notebook, before massaging her hand. Mai hadn't slowed once during the tirade of advice, and she wasn't used to writing so fast. Grateful though she was for the apparently hard-won experience on dating a werewolf, she wished Mai had given her a few breaks in between. Her mother might have given similar lectures, but she'd at least paused between slides to let Ty Lee frantically catch up.

"You'll find out." The phone buzzed again in her hands, and Mai frowned. "I've got to go, that crazy hair-loop girl is stalking Zuko again. Something about his dad's company murdering her mom." Standing and grabbing her backpack, Mai set off, leaving Ty Lee buzzing with more uncomfortable questions than she probably wanted answered. Who was hair-loop girl? What did she want to do with Zuko? _Did Zuko's dad kill her mom?_

 _Okay, okay, calm, calm, breath in, breathe out..._ The meditative techniques that had been passed down her family line were meant to help the body deal with the shock of losing a limb or having holes blown through it. Ty Lee's experience had found they were barely adequate for handling the day to day stresses of dating Azula. She'd also taken some of her meager paycheque and bought a few ounces of Iroh's most calming tea. Some nights she lay awake looking at the ceiling and panicking, and a few cups could take enough edge off for sleep to come. The fact that the scent of the chamomile blend could take Azula from 'rant' to 'drowsy' was just a wonderful, wonderful bonus.

As the distant noises of a feminine voice shrieking in outrage reached her, Ty Lee sighed and picked up her own bag. If she hurried, she could escape to her car before she somehow got dragged into whatever hair-loop girl was doing to Zuko. Whoever that was.

**********

The next morning found Ty Lee tired but cheerful. Schoolwork and regular work (and the regular stress dreams of her family berating her for demeaning their legacy), had cut hugely into her sleep time. Still, she felt good. It was a new day, and things might not be so hectic and wild for once. She'd packed her little go-to kit of Mai's suggested items, even the ones she didn't understand, and hopefully they'd be some help dealing with Azula's petulant and frequently bizarre behavior.

"Hey, gorgeous..."

Ty Lee suppressed a groan. She had to maintain her cover, but Jet made her think twice about not bringing a taser to school. It wouldn't look too suspicious, but "no sense in attracting un-needed attention" as her mom would say. He was cute enough, but she'd heard enough from Jin and Song about how he used people to steer clear.

"What is it, Jet?" A polite smile for appearance's sake. If she wanted to be rude she could always throw Azula at him. Or just throw him.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go-" The come-on cut off abruptly, pitching into a yell of pain as his locker was harshly slammed shut on his hands. The chatter of the hallway ceased, people staring as Azula turned, smirking. Jet was biting his lip, flushed from forehead to chest with the effort keeping whatever curses he wanted to fling inside. Ty Lee was torn between horror and twisted amusement; Azula was rubbing off on her.

"Oops. Sorry. Wasn't looking where I was going." The words were spoken with a honeyed malice, the glitter in her golden eyes belying the statement. Jet glared, cradling his bruised and swelling hands close to his body. Ty Lee winced, staring at his injuries. He might be a creep, but she could already see his fingers baring more resemblance to balloons than digits. Glancing away only led to brief, intense eye contact, Azula's gaze shining with pride, accomplishment, and possessiveness, before she strode away down the hall.

For the rest of the morning, Ty Lee wondered if the other girl had been attempting to be, in her own way, a good girlfriend and 'rescue' her, or if she'd simply been jealous.

**********

By noon, she was already regretting the time spent on homework instead of sleeping. Skipping the lunch rush to jog, quickly, in the small square courtyard in the center of the campus was quickly becoming a habit. A few laps usually got her blood flowing enough to keep her going through the rest of the day, even if it might net her some looks. Still, the benefits far outweighed the-

Her line of thought was interrupted by a frantic staggering stop, nearly running into the black haired and golden eyed girl who stood in her path, looking bored and waiting. "A-Azula!" Ty Lee fought to get her pounding heart under control, the other girl's sudden appearances and disappearances still startling. "What are you-"

Warm hands encircled her skull, gripping, as Azula stepped forward. Ty Lee barely had time to squeak before the other girl buried her face against her neck, rubbing her cheek and nose briskly and repeatedly, ignoring Ty Lee's yelps of displeasure at the action. Pulling back, she assessed, sniffing. "Good enough." A wrinkle in that nose as Ty Lee stared, gaping. "Wear less heavy perfume, you smell like a flea market." Striding away, pulling out a compact.

"...Wh- Why-" Ty Lee waved her hands, confused and annoyed, stamping a foot somewhat childishly as she started at Azula's retreating back. Every time the other girl got less weird, it turned out to be just a smokescreen for more insanity. Fuming, she strode out of the courtyard, stalking towards the lunchroom, ignoring everyone she passed. The head of angry steam she'd built up slowly built as she approached, before someone touched her arm.

"WHAT." Growled out, glaring at Mai, the other girl frowning, before indicating Ty Lee's reflection with her thumb.

"Take a look, scent-marking is a bitch." A slight amused tilt to her mouth as she pointed.

Scowling, she turned, glancing briefly, before turning back and staring in horror. All up and down her neck was lipstick smears and foundation marks, the remains of Azula's drive-by territory claiming. Her brain crashed to a halt, eventually throwing only one thought up. Revenge must be had.

**********

The next day, when Azula attempted the same trick twice, Ty Lee reflected that while pepperspray dabbed behind the ears tended to get her looks, it was worth every inch of seeing the domineering werewolf rolling on the floor clutching her nose in pain.

Now if only she could figure out how to wash it off before her shift at the teahouse began. If this kept up, her schooldays might become tolerable again!


	2. Interspecies Symbiosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interplay between Ravens and Wolves remains a fascinating topic of discussion. Mai and Azula are no exception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA HA YEAH I TOTALLY UPDATED WHEN I SAID I WAS GOING TO

It was amazing just how much disgust Jin could pack into a sentence. "Ugh. What is it with her? Always meat. It's like she's never heard of a salad. I'm amazed she doesn't weigh eight hundred pounds." Ty Lee winced, internally. While her... _thing_ with Azula was still rather nebulous, it had brought in a whole new aspect to her lunches with Song and Jin; trying not to speak up on Azula's behalf while they stuck to the tried and true topic of why she was a lunatic.

"Maybe she exercises a lot-" Offered, weakly. She'd seen Azula try to eat a salad once. It hadn't gone well. Fruit, fine, sure. Vegetables? She'd spat spinach onto the plate and gave Ty Lee a withering look. It had been the last time they'd eaten anything other than burgers or chicken (With Azula throwing away everything but the patty).

"Yeah, she seems like one of those steroid abuser types. It'd explain how she broke that doorhandle last year."

"What?" Ty Lee hadn't heard about this incident. Which was surprising, given that Jin and Song relished telling tales about how weird Azula was. Song's eyes lit up, leaning in.

"So like, last year, there was this incident in one of the chem labs right? One of the juniors made a stinkbomb and hid it, and locked the doors before it went off. And Azula  _freaks_   _out_ and shoves her way out of the room and took a whole chunk of the door off. Like, there was this big section missing. Turns out the wood was weak, but it was still crazy- just this big splintered area around where the handle should've been." Ty Lee nodded, wide eyed, internally wincing. Knowing Azula's particular heritage meant that she was far more aware of sound and scent and how it affected her. She'd had a happy few hours wondering if talking quieter would make the other girl less irritable (it hadn't), and if her shampoo was bothering her (it was). 

She was dragged from he musings by Jin's comment: "I bet she's probably more muscular than Zuko is, and he's ripped."

Song sighed, happily. "Yeah he is..." Jin rolled her eyes, pushing forward before Song went on another trip to the land of 'Zuko should be dating me'. _  
_

"It's absolutely weird. Girls aren't supposed to be stronger than guys." Ty Lee awkwardly chuckled at that, and tried not to think about how she could throw the lunch table across the room without breaking a sweat. She glanced at Azula again, noting the frown and wincing. She could probably hear every word out of Jin and Song's mouths. But, Mai had been very specific: don't interfere.

* * *

"Why? If they're being mean, shouldn't I say something?" Ty Lee flexed her aching fingers, pausing in her writing. She hadn't liked the idea of just sitting idly by while Azula was trashtalked. It didn't just seem rude, it made her feel...false. She wasn't entirely sure what she thought of the dark haired werewolf, but she definitely felt something.

Mai had rolled her eyes, not looking up from her phone. "Listen, Azula's a big girl, and can handle herself. In fact, she usually insists on it. It may not seem great to just stand idly by while she gets made fun of, but trust me, she wouldn't appreciate your help anyway. Take it from someone who knows her- she'd rather eat her own arm than let someone so much as cut her food for her without being ordered to." 

"But I've seen you stand up for Zuko-" A waved hand cut Ty Lee off.

"This isn't 'advice for dating Zuko', it's 'advice for making sure Azula's cranky ass doesn't strangle you in your sleep'. Very different things. If you make too much noise on her behalf, you'll just get made fun of with her. And before you say 'that's not so bad', keep in mind that while you may not be too worked up, if it pissed off Azula, you can be sure there'd be more than some bruised feelings in the hallways. The last time someone mocked me in Zuko's earshot he put him through a window." She paused in her texting, with a slightly fonder eyeroll. "Idiot. Like I couldn't handle Ruon-Jian."

Filing that name away, Ty Lee wondered if all people involved with werewolves had such a complex relationship, or if the four of them were just weird. "It just doesn't seem fair to Azula."

"Azula has us to watch her back.  We stick together, and you watch yourself. You don't have anyone who dislikes you yet, and associating with us too much won't help that." Mai seemed completely uncaring, as if she hadn't just intimated her social status was synonymous with 'leper'. "Now what else- Zuko is pretty physical- Stop making that face I can see it-"

* * *

"Hey-" Ty Lee paused, watching the other girls draw out of their conversation about Zuko and Jet's muscles and which one of them might be the cuter. "-do either of you guys know about Ruon-Jian?"

When she'd asked, the reaction she'd been expecting  was surprise, amusement, or even confusion. Fear wasn't on that particular list. Both girls paused, flinching a little. Jin looked pale. "Y-yeah. How'd you hear about that?" Ty Lee thought fast and lied, blithe.

"I heard someone talk about it at the tea shop. Something about ending up like Ruon-Jian. What happened to him?" The two girls glanced at each other. Jin swallowed.

"I was there- It was this party at Chan's house. You wouldn't know him, he left school not too long after. Anyway, it was this party, a lot of people there, and Mai and Zuko were having some fight, and... Well, Ruon-Jian was one of Chan's friends, so he goes and starts hitting on Mai. I got distracted, but when I looked again, she was walking away, and he was trying to grab her arm and she slapped him. And- I didn't hear what he said, but a minute later Zuko was there. Ruon-Jian didn't have time to say anything. Zuko just threw him out the window into the pool downstairs. I've never seen anyone look that mad. It was really scary. Zuko's intense but... I thought he was going to kill Ruon-Jian before Mai stopped him. And then there was the whole Azula thing-" Song interrupted.

"Speaking of people who steal hot guys and get people thrown out of windows-" Mai had entered the lunchroom, sitting next to Azula. The two seemed content to ignore each other. Azula obviously thinking while Mai flipped through a book. 

"What Azula thing?" Ty Lee tried to refocus them, knowing Song was ramping up for a tirade.

"Chan had a thing for her. So he hits on her right? And she turns him down, and he starts spreading rumors about her - how she's easy. The stuff jerks say." Ty Lee was a little surprised at how uncomfortable Jin looked. It had to be pretty bad for her to not care for it - or she had more standards when it came to talking about her enemy than others. "And then Chan's dad loses his job - all this stuff about embezzling comes out. I don't know if she did it or someone else, but Chan's family lost everything. They had to move away. Ruon-Jian transferred schools, too." Ty Lee nodded, glancing over, pausing.

At the other table, Mai had reached out and plucked some of Azula's lunch right off her plate. The other girl glared...but didn't stop her, as Mai chewed. Azula huffed and looked away, and Ty Lee could have sworn there was a bit of a smirk around her mouth. She could hear Mai's voice _'Azula has us to watch her back'._

"I still think it's Mai's fault about Ruon-Jian. She set the whole thing up-" Jin rolled her eyes as Song started, before Ty Lee cut in.

"She's not like that." They stopped, staring. "She's really not. She's quiet, but she's not that kind of person." That got her dubious looks, but the other two moved on, talking about their plans for the weekend, occasionally glancing at Ty Lee, curious. She didn't explain herself. Mai might think that it didn't matter if she said nothing, but it mattered to her. Besides, just because Azula didn't want anyone fighting her battles for her didn't mean she didn't need someone to step in sometimes. A friend to solve problems that Azula thought didn't matter.

Ty Lee thought she could handle it. She was trained to hunt monsters. How bad could it be?

 

* * *

Later, she'd regard this at the moment she'd well and truly lost her damn mind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a little bogged down trying to figure out another funny thing and then had a breakthrough on what Mai represents (to me), in the text. Ravens are smart, have very dry senses of humor (seriously the few I have met as pets were snarky little assholes), use tools and have a symbiosis with wolves! They also share food. Who does that sound like to you?
> 
> Please comment below!


	3. Repellent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It may be that Ty Lee overestimated the problems the 'werewolf' title would bring, rather than anticipating the problems her girlfriend's personality might bring.

 

More often than not, conversations with Azula led Ty Lee to wondering what angry, irrational god she’d pissed off, and why it chose to constantly visit confusion and torment upon her. The current bout of weird insanity that was spouting from the werewolf’s mouth was no exception to this rule. The students passing by in the hallway only added to the surreal nature of the situation, as if reminding her that other people led normal, well adjusted lives. She was sure she’d been staring open mouthed at the other girl for at least a minute, judging by the impatient expression on Azula’s face, but she’d had to flip the the words around a few time to make sure she hadn't misunderstood. No, on further examination, still crazy.

She heard herself ask, voice slightly strangled- “What was that?”

Azula rolled her eyes, shoving away from the locker. Her voice took on a familiar, sharp tone. “I said, it’s like you don’t even pay attention, case in point. I told Mai about the trip two nights ago! You should have known already!” Ty Lee nodded dumbly, trying to piece together why Mai knowing would mean she knew. The quiet girl and she had gotten friendly, but they weren't in constant communication or anything, nor was she getting status updates on what Azula was doing.

The werewolf snorted. “Your ability to follow might have gotten a lot better-” Said grudgingly. As far as Azula was concerned, Ty Lee was pretty much a child, and she made sure the hunter knew it. “-but it looks like your memory retention is terrible.” She jabbed a finger at Ty Lee’s forehead. “With all the hints I’ve been saying to empty rooms, you’d think that at least one would have penetrated your skull. I mean, what’s the point of following me if you’re not going to even use the information?” She shook her head in despair at Ty Lee ever meeting her standards.

Meanwhile, Ty Lee could only stare at her. She knew their relationship wasn’t exactly standard. Apart from the normal unusual aspects due to age, gender, and social standing, everything else compounded on top of it. Still, the other parts were something she could learn to accept: weird instincts and pack behaviors and all. But right now, all she could think was ‘oh god, she thinks you’re still following her around and she thinks that’s normal what do you SAY’.

The bell saved her from having to answer that last question, as Azula huffed in frustration. “We’ll talk more tomorrow. I have to head home immediately to attend some business. Come up with a good reason, for once, will you?” She trotted away, a few nervous freshmen scattering like birds before an oncoming semi. Ty Lee stared after her, jaw hanging open. If it wasn’t for someone bumping into her, she would have been late to class.

* * *

Of course, during class, while she was trying to focus and not think about it, her brain decided to bring up the other logical deduction from that realization. _‘If she thinks I've been following her around, and that’s okay… Has she been doing the same to me?’_ The rest of the period was spent over-analyzing every gesture her girlfriend had made in the last month.

* * *

 

She’d decided to not think about it, to just let things be, right up until she’d driven back to the tea shop and made the connection of how easy it would be to look in at her apartment from it’s roof. Her shift was spent planning, figuring out exactly what it would take. She’d closed up on time, and then forgone counting out to zip over to an electronics store before they closed, spending some of her meager paycheque to get a few pieces of equipment.

She’d barely had time to drive back before turning on the shower in her apartment, leaving the light on, cursing the fact that she was driving up her water bill. It was a simple ruse, but she still managed to climb out the bathroom window, grabbing one of the pipes on the neighboring building and scaling, setting up the simple microphone and transmitter to the underside of the roof lip, and climbing back down.

She told herself she was being paranoid as she put the headphones on, the receiving device disguised as an mp3 player. Azula wouldn’t follow her around. It was just silly. She was going to realize she’d had entirely the wrong idea about what the other girl had said, and it was going to be fine-

Her confidence in that lasted as long as it took for the transmitter and receiver to hook up.

_“What’s she doing now?”_ Mai’s voice, bored. Ty Lee suppressed a yell.

_“Sitting, listening to music.”_ Azula had that same air of laser focus in her voice that Ty Lee had come to associate with seeing the other girl stalk prey. This was such an invasion of privacy, this-

_“You know this is crazy behavior, right? Like, following her around is bizarre, even for you.”_ Azula’s answering snort crackled through the microphone. Ty Lee fumed, internally, already planning revenge. This went beyond the pale. _‘First step, check the kitchen...’_ She stood, stretching, casually walking over to her fridge.

_“She started it, first.”_ Face deep in the fridge,Ty Lee didn’t have to hide her expression. The shocked, outraged incredulity that spread across her face would have been near impossible to keep tamped down. _‘Lemon juice is gone. I’ll get some from downstairs’_. She walked back towards the bathroom, staying casual.

_“Great logic there. You’re gonna be the best at kindergarten debate. How do you even know she’s following you, if you haven’t seen her doing it?”_ There was a pause. Ty Lee opened the back window, and started shimmying down to the ground floor, opening up the back door with her key.

_“...oh my god, you don’t even know.”_ Mai sounded faintly horrified. Azula growled, and Ty Lee winced at the crackling of the microphone as she dug through the fridge. Ah, there it was. She’d stashed this for a week past the sell by date, just long enough for it to go a little bad…

_“She has to be. Why would she stop?”_ She shook the bottle, grabbing one of the empty spray bottles from under the counter. A little vinegar added- She winced, sealing it. Phew. Well, she couldn’t say this wasn’t going to do the trick.

_“Because it’s a crazy-person thing to do? You’re dating. She’s not hunting or doing recon on you anymore.”_ Ty Lee crept out the back of the store, carefully maneuvering up to the neighboring building. She’d worried about the wind until getting out here, it was blowing down and away- she’d remain upwind of Azula’s keen nose until she got close. Keeping the headphones on, hoping the werewolf girls would be too busy talking to hear her…

_“She found that coffee shop I like-”_

_“She asked me about that. You know, like a sane girlfriend would-”_ Ty Lee tried to keep quiet, slowly climbing the brick facing, keeping at least one point of contact. Freeclimbing was old hat, easy, especially on something with this many protrusions.

_“No one’s that thoughtful.”_

_“You’re amazingly bad at this.”_

_“I am not- Wait, do you hear that-”_ Ty Lee winced, but glanced up. Only three feet left to go. She pushed, gripped, and raised the spray bottle, blasting a diffuse cloud of rancid lemon juice and vinegar over the edge of the roof. She heard a yell, and then a whine. Pulling herself up, she was treated to the sight of Azula staggering back, eyes watering, while Mai held her sleeve in front of her face.

“Oh god why-”

Ty Lee ignored Mai, advancing, spraying a few more times while Azula crabwalked backwards on the roof. “I’m not going to warn you twice! Don’t follow me!” The werewolf snarled back, but let out a yelp as more of the foul smelling mist sprayed at her. Turning, she ducked into the stairwell, dashing down. Ty Lee sighed, hands on her hips. Mai watched.

“You know, I was worried about you at first, but you might actually have a shot at making this dating thing work.”

Ty Lee glared at her. “I will spray you. Don’t try me.” Mai held her hands up in surrender, and Ty Lee debated spraying her only for a little while before letting her leave.

* * *

 

At school, the next day Ty Lee almost felt bad. She hadn't realized just how powerful that scent combo would be, and maybe she'd overdone it. Seeing Azula shooting covert, worried looks at her however, was a little too satisfying to give into guilt just yet. She'd let the other girl get forgiveness. Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that you can repel dogs with citrus juice and vinegar? I didn't! Poor Azula.
> 
> The bit about rancid lemon juice was informed by me discovering how bad that smell can become.
> 
> Thanks a bunch to eastsidegallery, as always, for both support, awesome fic writing, and being just generally awesome!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm at the point where I can't tell if this is funny or not. Comment and let me know. This is probably just going to be Azula doing dumb dog behaviors because that's hilarious to me.


End file.
